apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
