i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
