how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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