how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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