He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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