You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
