why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
two words: eviction party
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize