to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He kissed a someone with a penis
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
