By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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