Small penises have feelings too.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
