This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
