Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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