i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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