you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize