Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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