The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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