he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wanna passion pit in your ass
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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