He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize