K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
