you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
