I CAN MOONWALK!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
