i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
