if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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