would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
