Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
