Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize