I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
