Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
