I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize