Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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