do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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