taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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