I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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