I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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