Just fell off a train. Bad.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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