So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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