i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
