too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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