THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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