She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
