Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
