Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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