I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
