we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
