did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
