and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
