Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
