I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
