Pappa wants mamma naked
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize