god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
