would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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