he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
