I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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