i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
