I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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