how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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