i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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