He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
