you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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