I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
