you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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