You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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