ya dads aren't the best wingmen
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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