what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
