yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
