I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
