now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize