I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
