I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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